Wednesday, June 22, 2005

Bathroom Fun

I was in the restroom at work this past week. I was alone using the urinal. In other words no one was standing next to me looking over the divider at my genitalia making comments like, “Nice dick!” or the ever insulting, “Can you f*** with that thing?” It was very relaxing.

Anyway I was looking down at the urinal and I noticed something odd. It was just an American Standard, white, stainless steel fixtures, a nice clean urinal. However, on top of the urinal I noticed the following code: 3.8Lpf/1.0gpf

Anybody know what it means?

Monday, June 20, 2005

Trip to Ohio

I made a pilgrimage back to the mother land earlier this month. I was invited to the wedding of one of my college buddies. I got to see my parents. I got to visit and party with some folks I have not seen in years. I had a really good time with my wife. All in all it was a very successful trip.

Ohio is the mother land. I’m not really sure why. I was born in North Jersey and look more like Tony Soprano than John Glenn. I live in Seattle and really like it. But I went to high school and college (3 of ‘em!) in Ohio and I started my career there, so I suppose that’s why it’s home.

Anyway, it was great to spend some time with Mom and Dad. I was very nervous about the wedding as I was a part of the wedding party and I didn’t want to goof anything up. I shared with my parent just how nervous I was. I was sweating bullets. My dad theorized that I told me I would likely trip and knock the bride over in the middle of the ceremony. Thanks a bunch Mom and Dad!

The wedding was excellent. It was a lot of fun to share an adult beverage and catch up a little with some folks that I used to be fairly close to, but haven’t seen in years. It’s funny how awkward the reunion is at first, but how by the end of the evening the years have melted away. You are exchanging addresses and promising to keep in touch. But even knowing we won’t really be any better at keeping in touch, it just feels good.

The best part of the wedding was that my wife actually enjoyed herself. We danced, drank, and chatted. My friends and my wife were able to bond a little and my wife relaxed and had fun. This is what I was truly most nervous about. Thanks Jeff & Dez!

It was a very good trip to my way of thinking. The weather was awful, hot and sticky. The travel was terrible. Crammed into cattle class on an aircraft full of rude smelly people for 5 hours each way is no fun. Even the movies were weak. I burned 3 of the 5 vacation days I have available this year, so now I can’t even get sick. Yet, I’d do the trip again tomorrow….

Problem Solving 101

I was discussing problem solving with a buddy late last week. I shared with him one of the secrets of my success. This is a powerful secret. It is along the lines of The Database of Wisdom in terms of how universal and potent this tool is. You can apply this tool literally to any issue to with which you are confronted. This tool works equally well with real and perceived issues. This tool works for recreational and professional problems. This tool can help resolve interpersonal as well as technical problems. What is this wonder tool? What is this piece of problem solving genius that you cannot live without? Here's a hint: You haven't seen this one on TV. This is my personal best friend for problem solving. This piece of wisdom and knowledge requires no faith as the proof is in the use. Are you ready?

"Let It Age."

That's it. Let it age. Basically whenever a dilemma is staring you in the face, turn away and say to yourself, "Let It Age."

For example, let’s assume your boss comes to you hands you an assignment and says, “This needs to be done immediately.” The weak minded employee will drop what they are working on, reprioritize, and immediately try to complete the task the boss has given you. This is wrong. If this is really important the boss may do it himself. The boss may assign the exact same task to another (more qualified) employee. The deadline may pass and you will not have had time to be successful anyway.

A good result is that the work is done by another person and you can take the credit. Or even better, circumstances change and the task becomes irrelevant, you look like management material for recognizing a pointless task and not wasting company resources on it. The worst case is that this really is a time critical task and you will be fired. Would you really want your last memory of the work place to be one of panic and frenzy? Of course not!

You’ve got to let it age.

Thursday, June 09, 2005

Chaos Reigns!

I’d like to send a special “WTF, over?!” to the good folks at Delta Airlines.

As I understand the airline industry, they are a service industry. I expect them to do three things and do them well. Those things are:

  • Get me where I’m going safely.
  • Get me where I’m going on time.
  • Treat me with the respect a valued customer deserves. (All customers should be valued, they pay the bills.)

    Most airlines do the first 2 at a similar rate. The third item is admittedly subjective. The real differentiator is cost. I tend to fly the airline that gets me where I’m going for the least amount of money. I assume the cheaper flight is due to the airline keeping their costs down.

    In the Seattle airport, Delta has installed those fabulous free standing kiosks to speed you along your way. I like the kiosks, you enter your confirmation code and you are off! Along these lines, obviously (logically) the more kiosks you have the better. More people can be served more rapidly and no extra cost (people) is incurred a theoretical win-win.

    Delta-Seattle has installed 3 circular tables with around 10 stations each to speed people though. This would have been brilliant, except… …They put the damn kiosks exactly 6 feet in front of the customer service windows. So basically there’s no way to line up in front of the kiosks, there’s no place to line up to check your luggage, and there’s no obvious course of action if you can’t use the kiosk for whatever reason. So you and 30 to 120 people are left standing around without direction because you can’t access the place you need to be and you can’t ask anyone.

    They say insanity is repeating the behavior and expecting a different result. Nice going fellas!

  • Sunday, June 05, 2005

    Millions of Ideas

    I am continuing with the theme of goals and ideas. I have promised myself that I will write more regularly in my blog. To that end I have all kinds of ideas to blog about all day. But somehow I just can’t seem to get it done.

    Case in point, I was speaking with my buddy Jeff the other night and I had a good idea. Jeff thought it was a good idea too. But instead of writing it down right then and there, I went and did other stuff. I was thinking to myself this is such a good idea I won’t forget it. Of course I did forget.

    It’s not that I don’t try. In just this past week I have literally composed (mentally) 4 or 5 really good essays. When I am riding the bus, exercising, cooking dinner, any other menial fairly brain dead task, I compose entire essays in my brain, but since I don’t write them down they are lost. The topics are about… Well if I could remember that, I wouldn’t be writing about this particular mental malady. So what can I do? I write about having nothing to write about…

    I have millions of ideas, just not when they are useful to me. It’s the literary corollary to coming up with the perfect put-down or come-back line fifteen minutes after the confrontation. I’m like Homer Simpson. When I need the coherent thought my brain is repeating the theme song from The Brady Bunch. While I’m riding the bus, I am able to envision an efficient cost-effective alternative to fossil fuel.

    The best part? I still don’t carry pen and paper with me. I assume that since I came up with the idea once, I’m certain I can recall it later.

    They say insanity is repeating the behavior and expecting a different result. Hmmm…