Spirit Guide

There’s a new restaurant I have been attending lately. It’s called the Ipanema Grill and they are a “Brazilian” joint.

Basically for a flat fee you get their version of the buffet. What happens is people come to your table and offer you slices of tasty grilled animal flesh. It’s very tasty. There’s also plenty. I often can’t finish the slice in front of me before the next slice is offered up. I could love this joint.

Anyway, last week I consumed so much meat that I entered a hallucinatory state. While in this mental state I discovered my spirit animal.

As you know, a spirit animal is physical manifestation of your own existential guide. An animal meant to teach you things about yourself. To help you better understand how you fit into the universe and guide your actions and inner most thoughts appropriately.

As it turns out, my spirit guide is a chicken, a six foot tall chicken that sounds and looks a lot like Foghorn Leghorn. I suppose any of you who know me really aren’t too surprised by that. “I say I say son. I say your doin’ it all wrong!” This explains a lot.