Silly Geese

I hate the canada geese. They're loud, they crap everywhere and they don't understand traffic. My brother (my brother!) tells me he finds the death of these geese to be a tradgedy as they 'mate for life'.

Brother, mating for life is a privilege for all species smart enough and dominant enough to be the supreme beings in any eco-system. Geese don't count. They wander in traffic and drivers (human drivers!) get ticketed for running them down.

This is yet another example of the government getting involved in nature and screwing it up. Creatures too stupid to avoid traffic don't get the privilege of mating for life. Cats, dogs, and octo-moms have litters. If the Octo-mom wanders out in traffic, does the poor driver who didn't see her get a ticket for exterminating a lesser secies?

Think about it. I'm gonna go run over some geese out on the golf course with my 4-wheeler.

My Space

A couple of weeks ago a very pushy lady came to the door of my home insisting on speaking to me. Because I am socialized (to some extent) I didn’t just slam my door shut in her face. I wish I had. She represented the local homeowner association. She then proceeded to take an hour of my life so she could fill out a form with answers she wanted. I now hate her.

Seriously, I do not think I am obligated socially or otherwise to open my front door. Now if the police come by, I’ll open the door. But from now on, that’s it. I’ve had it. I’m going off the mother loving grid. No more kids selling candy. No boy scouts, no football team raising money. No more. If that pushy old lady shows up, I’m tossing her off my front porch. I don’t know her, I don’t owe her. I’ve had it.

Oh yeah, keep your barking little crap factory off my damn lawn. I have a shot gun and I’m more than happy to shoot ANY animal on my property. They’re your pets, you clean up after them.

Next time up, why I hate those darn geese.

God Bless the WHO

The World Health Organization is making life better for me by calling the swine flu, the H1N1 virus. I refuse. I will continue to say swine flu.

Also, just to be clear, I will not stop saying retard or gay. If you aren’t as smart as the person sitting next to you, you know you’re a retard. We all do. Also also, I still refer to stupid stuff as ‘gay’. For example, referring to Swine Flu as H1N1 is gay. Anyone who does so is a retard.

Torture

Here we go.

The president released the memos, but not the results. The results are the intelligence. We can’t release real intelligence. However this does mean that the releasing of the memos is really pointless. Without all the data we can’t weigh whether or not the decisions made by the Bush administration were justified or not. We can only claim that we find ourselves “ashamed” the US engages in torture. This is akin to announcing the baseball scores without naming the teams. E.g. 5 to 2; 4 to 7; There’s not enough data, get it? Barak does.

So now Barak can go back on the world stage and say, I apologize for all Americans. Ain’t that grand? When one apologizes it means that one understands that what they did was wrong and that they won’t do it again. I guess Barak doesn’t speak for me and his next apology is clearly not on my behalf. If I capture an enemy combatant and I think the enemy has vital information, I will begin water boarding immediately. I mean without the results, I have no reason to believe it isn’t effective. Right?

Clinton Defense Policy

I see where Hillary is going to demoralize the Somolian Pirates by freezing their assets. What assets? They're attacking freighters from row boats. If they had any assets, wouldn't they invest in better pirate boats?

Way to go Hillary! I'm certain the Bill is going to bed early and drinking his milk every night you aren't home to supervise him. Yeah, suurre...

Fucktard

A Fucktard is a concatenation of ‘Fucking Retard’. I can think of no better phrase to describe Barney Frank and Chuck Schumer. These two have had all kinds of power over governmental fiscal policy for over 4 years. They are guilty. But what’s frustrating is the abject hypocrisy of these two to be angry with people that actually work in a competitive industry while these two are spending ten thousand dollars on a toilet seat.

Chucky has decided that the law of the land is no longer important. He’s going to change the tax laws to punish individuals! How far is this action from Chuck’s personal hero (Joe Stalin) and his vicious purges? A coworker was telling me about growing up in Laos where even saying “I don’t like communism”, was cause for physical exile. And now Chuck Schumer is going to restructure the tax code to punish individuals who have done nothing more than accept the paycheck they negotiated as compensation for doing their job. Wow.

Barney Frank is calling for the current CEO of AIG (installed after the collapse with government approval) to provide the names of the AIG employees who received their bonuses to be published so that he (Barney) can go after them. However, Barney and Chucky have created such a ridiculous fervor, that these otherwise innocent citizens are being threatened. The acting CEO is willing to provide these names, but he would like to keep the names private to protect these accused (not convicted) citizens from the seething mob generated by Chucky and Barney. Barney says he (Barney!) will evaluate the gravity of these threats and then would be willing to be counseled by law enforcement as to the credibility of these threats. In other words, Barney has made up his mind. “Let ‘em fry!”

These two cerebral powerhouses are calling for the money to be returned for lack of performance. I won’t discuss the relative triviality of the size of the bonus payments in question. They are trivial. I will ask about the grounds by which Barney and Chucky are judging performance. Shouldn’t Barney and Chucky return their salaries (and any other monies they accrue due to their relative fame from their jobs aka speaking fees) for failure to: keep the budget balanced, watch how the bailout monies they approved were spent, and keep tabs of how organizations they are responsible for (Sallie Mae, Freddie Mac) were running? Aren’t Freddie Mac and Fannie Mae fully governmentally mandated to engage in the behaviors that are the root of the housing crisis?

So these two absolute screw ups have the chutzpah to be angry with AIG, whom they gave the money to, whom is far more competent in their discipline, whom negotiated their compensation on the free market, it pisses me off. These two are far guiltier of damaging the national economy than ANYTHING any employee of AIG even could be. Yet there’s Barney yelling at the CEO. There’s Chucky threatening to use the tax code punish citizens. What a pair of fucktards. People of the great states of New York and Massachusetts, please recall and vote out these two dangerously under qualified sub-humans. I don’t believe you would vote Forrest Gump. These two aren’t as qualified.

Silver Linings

There is some good that comes from being this sick this long. I mean physically sick, I know I have been mentally/emotionally unwell for some time now. Anyway, I’ve been trying to lose weight for some time now. Two hundred pounds has been the bane of my existence for the past year. Finally I have achieved One hundred ninety. Now I do understand that at five feet ten inches, I’m still about four inches under height for my weight, but I’m finally a little closer.

I really was sick starting in early January. I started losing weight then. I had joked with coworkers that it must be cancer. I knew it wasn’t quite right. It’s as cold as (insert analogy) well… in Ohio this winter. So I haven’t been exercising. So there’s no reason for a guy who eats like I like to eat to lose weight. I should have known. Anyway I had gotten the magic number below 205 and I was actually pleased to be able to wear my ‘skinnier’ clothes. The problem is, the number was still dropping.

I got to the doctor (finally) and he sent me to the hospital. The hospital sent me south of 190. Even my skinnier clothes were feeling baggy. This is great I thought. I can actually conceive of 180 or heaven forbid the panacea of 175. I can taste it. This is more of my mental illness. The idea that I need to recuperate first has less interest than the idea that the water displacement in my hot tub will be reduced. Bring on the skinny jeans!

The other issue of course is that I’m still horribly mis-built. I have what I describe as a bumble bee’s body; I have skinny arms, skinny legs, and a corpulent, fuzzy torso. I look like a giant bumble bee. Unfortunately, no major designer has a bumble bee line. So, my brilliant weight loss has left me with no clothing I can wear and no hope of being able to find such clothing.

To recap, I got sick, I lost weight, I still look terrible. What did I title this entry again?

Heart Failure

The following is a true story.

For about a year I was having very irritating sinus issues, most likely allergy related. This January things got worse. I saw my doctor and we decided on a treatment plan. As a result, I spent all of last weekend in the hospital with heart failure. What have I learned?

I have been experiencing sinus headaches that bordered on migraines for the past 12 months. It really hurt. My doctor and I decided on a very aggressive strategy to treat these issues with Allegra-D, Mucinex-D, Nasonex, and Astelin. These drugs work great. However, they do not cure an infection.

In January this year, the symptoms became more persistent and in fact seemed to have moved into my chest. I thought I was experiencing a relapse into a childhood asthmatic disorder related to the allergies. So I went to the doctor thinking I had an acute infection that needed to be treated with antibiotics. I asked the doctor what I should do about the 4-drug cocktail I was already taking, he advised me to continue taking the drugs. Here’s where the trouble begins.

I know and my doctor knows that I have a hereditary issue with hypertension. I have been on blood pressure medications in my past. However, I had been off of the medication for a while (3 years) due to lack of symptoms. If you were paying attention in paragraph two, you realize that two of the drugs in my four drug combo will drive blood pressure through the roof and in a susceptible individual like me… well, I think I may have set a record or two.

Anyway, after I finished the two weeks of antibiotic, I waited one more week to see the remaining symptoms to fade. The ‘asthma’ did not. The shortness of breath which I attributed to the inability to breathe did not fade. I thought I had pneumonia. I went back to my doctor; he wanted blood tests and x-rays. I guess he thought the same thing I did. I saw my doctor early the next morning (Friday). His diagnosis was not what anyone expected: heart failure.

I went to the hospital (Grady Memorial, yikes!) where I spent 2 days consulting with cardiologists (good cardiologist-bad cardiologist!) and lowering my blood pressure by all possible means. I had 4am tests, 5am blood draws, other tests, lots of drugs and no sleep. Let me tell you, the hospital is more like jail than the fancy hotel you could stay in for half the price.

In any event, I got out Sunday afternoon. Lowering the blood pressure seems to have helped tremendously. I will be seeing the cardiologist and my doctor later this week for more testing. We’ll find out how much damage has been done to my heart and how much can be repaired. As for the actual cause, we may not ever find out. God bless modern medicine.