Tuesday, May 06, 2008

2nd Place is the first loser

Yeah, you’re right I am trotting out the old pro-death platform again. All week long I was hearing how the Kentucky Derby was passé. Now it’s the best example of what sports is about. Winner gets the fame, the money, the glory, all the accolades, and still has a shot at the Triple Crown.

What do the losers get? Well, if you finish second your prize is death. Screw you!

I know PETA is upset. The anti-human league wants the jockey punished. Ridiculous! This is just another example of how the anti-American pro-communist lobby wants to ruin the spirit of American achievement. They say, “Everyone who competes is a winner.” I say, “Bullshit!”

What sport wouldn’t be better if we executed the loser right there on the field of battle? That’s what it’s about. This is why all those ridiculous reality shows are so highly rated. If you win you go on, if you lose you go home (die).

Now I understand we can’t and shouldn’t kill humans. But for goodness sake, in this case it’s just a horse. Hell, I’d be willing to shoot one of Mike Vick’s dogs every time PETA said a goddamn word.