Tuesday, November 30, 2004

Lava Lamps

We have a Darwin Award nominee! Click here. What was this guy thinking? Did he not realize his stove was on? Maybe he thought “I should put my lava lamp on the stove.” Maybe the government could step in and make lava lamps illegal.

Monday, November 29, 2004

Sunday Television

Cell phones will be 10x faster. See it here. Whatever will we do with all that power? Maybe we can call astronauts on Mars with a smaller delay!

The best game of the NFL season so far was last night’s Raiders – Broncos scuffle. The game was exceptionally close, not decided until the very last play. Big plays were this only way either team could move the ball. Both defenses played very well. And man oh man, the driving snow and sloppy field pushed this game into the great category. That was a fun game to watch.

Apparently “Desperate Housewives” has decided to forego any shark jumping and killed off another housewife early in season 1. Buh-bye nosy neighbor. At this rate Wisteria Lane will be a ghost town by February 14. Happy Valentines Day! And yes, I do watch this primetime soap. I understand I have issues.

Saturday, November 27, 2004

Other new career choices

I wonder if anyone will pay me to eat turkey? Turns out I'm pretty good at it!

Friday, November 26, 2004

Revenge

As I am unemployed, I am at the end of the tail being waved by the State of Washington. I was forced to attend a class on finding a job 2 weeks ago. To be fair, the class was okay.

This week, I received a letter from the state wondering why I did not attend their class! These guys can't even manage an attendance list! And I gotta kowtow to them. That's nonsense. So I sent their letter back with a terse note to the effect of "check your facts."

Well, I'm gonna get my revenge. I see that the state is advertising for a Director of IT. I will apply for this position every week, varying my application method (on-line app/email resume/snail-mail resume) until the position closes. Do they think they're playing with children? Clowns.

Monday, November 22, 2004

Presidential Shoving

I see where G Bush has been involved in a "scuffle". What really happened, according to the TV news, is that the security of the facility where the president was staying had held up the president's personal security agent. The president saw this and then personally reached through the throng of people and pulled his man through.

While you may not like Bush, for whatever reasons, you gotta admit he is a loyal employer. He demonstrates his loyalty to his people over and over again. I like that. I wish some of my previous employers were that loyal to me. Or even close.

Sunday, November 21, 2004

in a panic

I haven't blogged in 3 days! Yet I have nothing to say. I've been sickly lately, so maybe that's my excuse.

Job hunt is going okay, no offers yet but several interesting interviews.

I think I wanna be a professional gambler. Or a fireman. Or a double-naught secret agent. Or a pro football player.

Thursday, November 18, 2004

America: Land of Cheap Goods

I see where Kmart has purchased Sears. Somehow, this seems wrong. All I can hear is Bette Midler in the movie Ruthless People. She is kidnapped and ransom is reduced. Bette’s comment, “I’ve been marked down! I was kidnapped by Kmart. (sob)!” How does Sears feel? And does anyone know what happened to Roebuck?

I had no idea that Kmart was big enough to buy Sears. I also did not realize that Kmart was a descendant of “SS Kresge”. What an empire of crap. Will Dollar General buy out JC Penney? Will Odd Lots purchase Nordstroms? I can see WalMart buying out The May Company.

Long live crap!

Tuesday, November 16, 2004

interview skills

The state of Washington has a pretty good program to help the unemployed in this state. Everything from interview skills to job re-training.

I highly recommend the check as well.

Monday, November 15, 2004

Hunkering down

I’m getting ready for the siege. I quit my job about 6 weeks ago. The last time I was unemployed, I had several months notice and I was able to get healthy before I was out of work and I survived in style, more or less. This time, I actually had some things fall through that I was hoping for. I know, “hope is not a strategy,” thanks PK. Anyway, I finished shuffling my debt and now I’m trimming the budget, I don’t expect to be out of work as long as the last time, but it never hurts to be prepared.

Sunday, November 14, 2004

Rant of the day

My wife and child stay up late on Saturday nights to watch the lowest of the low in low-brow programming.

I always have agreed with the sentiment of a former boss that called daytime talk shows the glorification of everything that’s wrong with the human condition. These shows (Jenny Jones, Jerry Springer, Maury, etc.) glorify loser behavior by giving it a forum where it seems “normal” or “okay” somehow. It’s not okay! If you have a child, raise it! Do not ever hit your partner! It’s not okay sleep with every low-rent partner because you can! Low self esteem in not a paying gig! Putting these people on TV rationalizes their abhorrent behavior.

I also hate Cops and America’s Most Wanted. These programs are nothing more than the fulfillment of Ray Bradbury’s Fahrenheit 451 novel. In the novel, the top rated program is the show where criminals hare hunted down by a mechanical dog and instantly put to death by means of lethal injection. In the book, the protagonist is on the run and manages to avoid the dog. However, this only causes the producer’s of the program to find a street person, digitally change the street person’s face to look like the protagonist, and execute the street person for the cameras. How are Cops and AMW different?

Finally, the offending program on Saturday night is worse than all of that garbage. I have never actually watched the program, but my wife and child can’t wait to tell me about the previous night’s episode on Sunday morning. I also recognize that other people must watch this crap as television is all about ratings. The program is called Cheaters. The concept is that the producers follow a suspected philanderer around with a hidden camera and catch the untrue partner in compromising positions. Then the program arranges a confrontation between the “Cheater” and the wronged partner. Then the sparks fly!

The fact that this kind of crap passes as entertainment really makes me question the future of the human race.

Saturday, November 13, 2004

nothing to report

The only thing in the news today is the Scott Peterson trial and frankly, I don't give a damn.

I could bait my liberal friends... and I think I will.

Topic: Liberalism is a mental disorder (credit Michael Savage)
Discuss amongst yoursevles.

Friday, November 12, 2004

In the news

I see Scott Hamilton has a brain tumor. I always knew all that arbitrary skating nonsense ("Look at that Jane, he really blew that triple sopwith camel!”) would cause physical damage to the brain. Poor Scott.

I also see where a 6 year old NEEDED to be tased (Taser).
Was that really the best option? I’ve heard that a cattle prod was approved for classroom discipline. But a 50,000 volt taser? (It’s the amps not the volts that kill you!)

Thursday, November 11, 2004

Need a product idea

I need a product idea. I need something that will be fun or interesting to develop and will make money. Also I would like it if the product caused some kind of harm to the users. I really like the tobacco product model. It would be really cool if I could make something that appealed to younger people as well.

I’m thinking it should be a consumable good. It should be something that people always need to replace. It could be a food product, a kind of soda or maybe tea or it could be a snack like food. Think Hostess. It could be a body care product, oil or a lotion or shampoo or maybe some kind toothpaste that creates tooth decay. But most importantly something that people buy over and over again.

I think the product needs a catchy name. Ideally, the name should eventually become associated with the category of product that it is, like Styrofoam. The name needs to sound fun and be easy to spell as my target audience is not smart and I need them to be able to put it on a grocery list. The name should also seem smart or funny at first but later be trite and slightly irritating. People need to be able to want the name.

I also need to avoid the product being a controlled substance. This is the hardest requirement. I want the product to be addictive, but I don’t want any controlled substance in my product. The product can have no tobacco, no caffeine, and no alcohol. The product needs to be legally addictive. Preferably, it is emotionally addictive but not physically addictive.

The product should seem dangerous. This will attract the youth as the product will seem like a way to rebel. Kids love to challenge authority. The product should reflect an illegal substance but be dangerous to the health of the users in legal ways. Danger and illegality warns children away from the product like sugar keeps ants from a picnic.

I think the product is “Crack Snacky’s”. I could make it up of pure sugar and shape them like crack paraphernalia: pipes, matches, lighters, guns, little bags of powder, and crack rocks. I could avoid any kind of artificial coloring or preservatives and claim it is all natural. This gets the product in every supermarket. If I can addict the children that will stay addicted as adults, then I can start to “jack-up” the price. That’s the ticket!

Wednesday, November 10, 2004

Letters from the Gov't

I got a letter from the state today. I apparently NEED to attend a class on finding a job. I'm certainly not opposed to such a class, I'll take all the help I can get. That said, the letter tells me the class is MANADATORY. What does that mean? What happens if I do not attend? Will the state police arrest me? Will I be sentenced to a lesser hell? (like heck maybe?) I'm not afraid of losing my government sponsored charity. I'm willing to work at 7-11 if I need money.

What's with the threat?

Tuesday, November 09, 2004

Doctors versus Phamacists

I read a story on the USA Today site. Apparently pharmacists can refuse to serve whomever they desire(Druggists refuse to give out pill). I just don’t understand how the pharmacists can get away with NOT passing the prescriptions on to other pharmacists.

I have great respect for the pharmacists. These folks know their stuff. I trust the pharmacist to know my medication better than my doctor does. Cause, frankly, the pharmacist has saved my wife and I a couple of times.

So what is this wacky behavior about?

Monday, November 08, 2004

Bush won.

I was just looking at the campaign rhetoric. I now know what happened to my job. George Bush sent it to India or Mexico or Indonesia.

Saturday, November 06, 2004

Gotta Post

I just realized that almost 2 days had passed since I last posted. So I need to write something.

I read the Seattle Weekly today. The weekly wants to be Seattle’s alternative paper, but frankly, that title belongs to the Stranger. Anyway, today in the Weekly I saw a review of the liberal radio network Air America.

I have dogged Air America on this blog previously, but I do need to give them some credit. Air America is getting better. In particular, Al Franken has really grown on me. I suspect that 4 more years of Bush is going to be really good for Air America. And America too!

Thursday, November 04, 2004

Helpful People

I spent my day today in a paperwork fire drill. I spent my morning deciphering Byzantine rules and regulations just so one company could transfer money to another corporation. I spent the rest of the day checking the right boxes and signing my name so that all the rules and rule makers could be appeased.

I just want to that the people at Washington Mutual, although they didn’t always give me accurate or complete data, they were absolutely friendly and did all the small things that they could to make my task successful.

I also want to recognize the nameless, faceless people in the State of Washington Department of Licensing for their efforts. I made a request to expedite my paperwork. Paperwork that was delayed through no fault of the state, and the employees at the state turned my request around inside of an hour and notified me immediately.

Thank you!

Wednesday, November 03, 2004

Bush Wins!

The election is virtually over. Bush is re-elected. The classy thing to do is for Kerry to concede. Air America Radio just reported that Kerry is conceding. Air America Radio is distraught. Too bad.

I took the wife, child, and her boyfriend to a play last night. We saw Smokey Joe’s Café at the Fifth Avenue Theatre. The show was excellent. The real surprise was that the wife and child actually enjoyed it. A win for me!

The wife and I have also been to the movies again. We watched “The Grudge” and “Saw”. I really like Sarah Michelle. “Saw” was intense.

Monday, November 01, 2004

Politics

A good friend of mine posted this on a bulletin board we both read:

"If my job (if I had one) was outsourced to India, do people really think that John Kerry is going to snatch it back from India and give it back to me? And if his plan is to keep my job from being outsourced, how can he do that without offering incentives (corporate welfare) to the evil corporations?"

I think this is a brilliant question to ask any Kerry voter.

Weekend things

Finally. The political campaign season draws to a close. This has been yet another "bloodiest, dirtiest" campaign season ever. My wife asked me last night, " why is this the most important election ever?" My answer, "cause the TV news says so." I dunno.

I watched 60 Minutes on Sunday night. I was troubled by the Ashlee Simpson segment. I just want to reassure all of my readers (both of you), that this blog is never pre-recorded or plagiarized. All content herein is my own, and outside sources are always credited. I learned my lesson from Milli-Vanilli.