deserves
My sister-in-law called yesterday. I have written about the wife's family before so this should come as no surprise. The sister is down on her luck and needs some cash. In and of itself this is not a blog-worthy event. However, the story behind this song is noteworthy. Apparently God does not only exist in prison, but he also frequently visits the downtrodden. This is not news either; I seem to recall stories about how God protects the least of our brethren from my religious training as a youth. But God has actually spoken to the sister.
As it turns out the sister, because she is the fifth child of the mother, is due some amount of money. Also and I did not know this (nor can I confirm it) the bible back's up the communication from God to the sister. The sister is expected to receive some amount of money to help out with all the families’ fiscal woes. I can only assume that this is money that God has put aside for the fifth child. All the sister needs to do is call God and withdraw her just reward.
Here's the problem. Some nefarious person or persons, known and unknown, have stolen the sister's identity and absconded with the cash! Wow! What a brilliant and devious criminal conspiracy. This criminal genius has not just stolen the identity of the sister, but they have duped God into believing that they are the deserving siblings. That's more organized than organized crime. Tony Soprano couldn't pull that off. These guys must be good. I can only assume they called the Vatican (isn't that where God keeps his petty cash?) and fooled the Cardinal in charge of handing out the fifth child's dough. I find this very disturbing.
It's got to be a conspiracy. According to the sister everyone is in on it. The ex-husband (well kind of, they never really got married), the other sister, at least one of the brothers, and several others are all part of the conspiracy. The sister called my wife to enlist my wife’s help to right this biblical wrong.
Unfortunately, the wife doesn’t believe the sister’s story. The wife’s advice was to “get a job” and “stop blaming others for your mistakes.” The wife is pretty damn smart sometimes. Me, I just hope that when I’m standing in front of the pearly gates awaiting my admission into heaven, no one has stolen my identity.
As it turns out the sister, because she is the fifth child of the mother, is due some amount of money. Also and I did not know this (nor can I confirm it) the bible back's up the communication from God to the sister. The sister is expected to receive some amount of money to help out with all the families’ fiscal woes. I can only assume that this is money that God has put aside for the fifth child. All the sister needs to do is call God and withdraw her just reward.
Here's the problem. Some nefarious person or persons, known and unknown, have stolen the sister's identity and absconded with the cash! Wow! What a brilliant and devious criminal conspiracy. This criminal genius has not just stolen the identity of the sister, but they have duped God into believing that they are the deserving siblings. That's more organized than organized crime. Tony Soprano couldn't pull that off. These guys must be good. I can only assume they called the Vatican (isn't that where God keeps his petty cash?) and fooled the Cardinal in charge of handing out the fifth child's dough. I find this very disturbing.
It's got to be a conspiracy. According to the sister everyone is in on it. The ex-husband (well kind of, they never really got married), the other sister, at least one of the brothers, and several others are all part of the conspiracy. The sister called my wife to enlist my wife’s help to right this biblical wrong.
Unfortunately, the wife doesn’t believe the sister’s story. The wife’s advice was to “get a job” and “stop blaming others for your mistakes.” The wife is pretty damn smart sometimes. Me, I just hope that when I’m standing in front of the pearly gates awaiting my admission into heaven, no one has stolen my identity.
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home