Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year
This has been one of the busiest years for me in quite some time. I was employed the entire year for the first time in 3 or 4 years. I turned 40 and we relocated across the country for no apparent reason. This is what it looked like chronologically.
The year in review:
January
My friend and neighbor, Dave, coins the term House Dragon. I immediately embrace the phrase.
I realize that I can no longer play “Lambs” with the child. “If it doesn’t clean its room, it gets the hose…”
February
Even in Seattle we experience cold (not frigid) weather. Come on global warming! I purchase 300 aerosol cans of hairspray and release them in my backyard.
We narrow down our collegiate choices for the child.
March
We decide (as a family) that we are moving back to Ohio. The child will attend college there (assuming it graduates high school). The House Dragon and I will move as soon as we can plan and execute the plan.
April
Planning: graduation, visits from friends and relatives, college, birthdays, and the big move.
May
Dreading: graduation, visits from friends and relatives, college, birthdays, and the big move.
June
The child turned 18 and graduated high school. Her intellectual decline continues. Mom and Dad visit for the graduation and I get to Mt St Helens for the first time. Wow! I would like to do that again.
July
I turn 40. Holy ----! My buddy Beef comes out to visit for the first time and we visit Rainier. What a great park.
August
Aunt and Uncle come out to visit for the first time. They get to meet the House Dragon and her offspring for the first time.
We bring the child to school in Ohio. Hello Central State! The child continues to deteriorate intellectually.
September
The House Dragon resigns her position and starts looking for work in Ohio.
October
My wife (the House Dragon) got a year older. She’s somewhere between 30 and 2 million years old.
I begin to sell all my big toys: motorcycle, jet skis, pickup truck, and beer fridge.
November
I begin my search for work in Ohio. I have an offer in 4 days. I submit my resignation. We plan the cross country drive.
We drive cross country from Seattle to Ohio. We used a full seven days. The House Dragon and I both really enjoyed the vacation.
December
Nana passed away, so we completed our cross country journey by driving to New Jersey to say goodbye. It was just like Steinbeck’s As I Lay Dying without all the good dialog and interesting subplots.
The wife got employed (finally!) in Columbus. We purchase a new Toyota for the 160 mile daily commute.
We got the child’s first collegiate grades. It got a 3.67. Wow!!! Maybe it only likes to act dumb?
Next Year
I will change jobs one more time this year as I want to get moved to Columbus. The child may or may not change schools. I will purchase a motorcycle.
The year in review:
January
My friend and neighbor, Dave, coins the term House Dragon. I immediately embrace the phrase.
I realize that I can no longer play “Lambs” with the child. “If it doesn’t clean its room, it gets the hose…”
February
Even in Seattle we experience cold (not frigid) weather. Come on global warming! I purchase 300 aerosol cans of hairspray and release them in my backyard.
We narrow down our collegiate choices for the child.
March
We decide (as a family) that we are moving back to Ohio. The child will attend college there (assuming it graduates high school). The House Dragon and I will move as soon as we can plan and execute the plan.
April
Planning: graduation, visits from friends and relatives, college, birthdays, and the big move.
May
Dreading: graduation, visits from friends and relatives, college, birthdays, and the big move.
June
The child turned 18 and graduated high school. Her intellectual decline continues. Mom and Dad visit for the graduation and I get to Mt St Helens for the first time. Wow! I would like to do that again.
July
I turn 40. Holy ----! My buddy Beef comes out to visit for the first time and we visit Rainier. What a great park.
August
Aunt and Uncle come out to visit for the first time. They get to meet the House Dragon and her offspring for the first time.
We bring the child to school in Ohio. Hello Central State! The child continues to deteriorate intellectually.
September
The House Dragon resigns her position and starts looking for work in Ohio.
October
My wife (the House Dragon) got a year older. She’s somewhere between 30 and 2 million years old.
I begin to sell all my big toys: motorcycle, jet skis, pickup truck, and beer fridge.
November
I begin my search for work in Ohio. I have an offer in 4 days. I submit my resignation. We plan the cross country drive.
We drive cross country from Seattle to Ohio. We used a full seven days. The House Dragon and I both really enjoyed the vacation.
December
Nana passed away, so we completed our cross country journey by driving to New Jersey to say goodbye. It was just like Steinbeck’s As I Lay Dying without all the good dialog and interesting subplots.
The wife got employed (finally!) in Columbus. We purchase a new Toyota for the 160 mile daily commute.
We got the child’s first collegiate grades. It got a 3.67. Wow!!! Maybe it only likes to act dumb?
Next Year
I will change jobs one more time this year as I want to get moved to Columbus. The child may or may not change schools. I will purchase a motorcycle.
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