It’s a blog-a-day world.

I’m writing today to write. I’ve seen some movies lately, watched some TV I have enjoyed, gotten paid (!), and generally have settled into a routine. Jesus god I hate that!

The wife and I went to The Ring 2. It was nothing like the original. Where were Frodo and Bilbo? And for goodness sake, how can you do a sequel of the Ring without Gollum?!

I am enjoying the new season of the Shield as well. I like Anthony Anderson as a Michael Chiklis’ counterpart. Are his illegal antics worth the good he does for the community? Also Southpark has taken some fun twists. I specifically enjoyed the Mayor blowing her brains out.

I don’t like being in a routine dictated by someone else. It really bugs me. I appreciate being on a schedule. Left to my own devices, I get up at the same time, eat at the same times, and sleep on a routine schedule. That said my life is no different now. In fact, I actually get to choose what my schedule will be. But if I want to vary my schedule, now I gotta ask the man. I hate it.

Rip dat shit!

I was watching boxing this past weekend. I saw "The Aztec Warior" in his second comeback bout against some relative unknown who's name is Joval. Needless to say the Warrior pummeled this poor fellow for 10 rounds on his way to a unanimous decision.

What really struck me though, was a comment made by the Warrior's corner between the 7th and 8th rounds. They told the young man, "You know what he's doing! So I want you to counter the one, and when you do… rip dat shit!"

How cool is that? I would like my job more if my boss used phrasing like that when handing out assignments. Imagine, we're in a meeting, the boss is handing out assignments, when it's my turn he says, "Larry, we need an interface for the foobar application. You know what that system is all about. Now I want you to design a solution, then code it up, and when you do… rip dat shit!" Or maybe instead of a coffee break, once an hour an intern could come to my desk pour water over my head, rub my shoulders, and wash my mouthpiece. I think I'd like a cutman too, some of those paper cuts and stapler accidents can be pretty painful. I'd also like a promoter. I'll get Don King to negotiate my next raise.

That'd be kinda cool. Maybe I'll just start wearing a mouthpiece to work.

Recurring Themes

They say (whoever the hell they are) that the definition of madness is to continue to do the same thing and expect a different result. Or maybe the analogy of a leopard not being able to change its spots is better here? You can decide.

My good friend, lets call him “Mr. F”, is once again on business travel in Asia. And, once again, Mr. F has trusted his employer to fund this trip. (A trip Mr. F is making on their behalf. Left to his own devices Mr. F would not travel to Asia. Do you know what I mean?) And once again, Mr. F’s employers have left him fiscally high and dry.

I think this is the 3rd time they have done this to him. I will give them credit; they did try to trick Mr. F this time. Mr. F has been requesting a company credit card, specifically for travel, since he was hired, about a year and a quarter ago. Mr. F generates plenty of revenue for the company and simply requires that he not spend his personal wealth on corporate travel. I don’t consider this an unreasonable request. So the company finally managed to give Mr. F a credit card for travel.

Pretty sweet, eh? Well maybe not. It seems Mr. F was having dinner with a client and tried to pay for the meal with said credit card. Lo and behold, said credit card cannot handle the charge. Fifty bucks! C’mon fellas! Apart from the embarrassment that this causes (“I’m Mr. F your credit card was declined. You must be a loser working for some disreputable company”), it can’t be good for client relations. Now Mr. Fish is in Asia, 18 hours ahead of these United States and far from his bank and family and normal support networks. I should also mention that Mr. Fish is staying in a reasonable hotel and racking up around $200/day in room rates while he is there. Oh yeah, and he has to pay for meals too. Just how is he going to do that?

I cannot believe the stunning lack of respect and appreciation for Mr. F’s efforts on behalf of this company over the past year this represents. I have been in a similar situation with far less risk and dissolved a partnership as a result. I know that this company doesn’t believe in respecting employees (or clients). I shouldn’t be surprised and I ‘m not, nut I am still disappointed. This kind of act displays a lack of simple human courtesy. I wouldn’t treat a DMV employee like that.

Please note I have used the words trust and respect again, it’s a recurring theme here. Maybe Mr. F needs to re-evaluate his relationship with his employer. I need to stop now. I have developed a cramp.

Alternative Lifestyles

I was chatting with a buddy today and we got to discussing alternative life choices.

We were discussing relationships, his, mine, mutual friends. He commented that one of our friends seems to be too controlled by his significant other. I, being the male chauvinist that I am, believe that the woman controls the social agenda – friends, food, and entertainment. While the man decides the really big things – Where to live, work, if the children go to college and where, retirement monies, basically the economic strata in which you will live.

My friend, who lives an alternative lifestyle, asked me, “What do I do? In my relationships there are always 2 men. Who’s the bitch?” That’s a damn good question. I have no clue.

Rant

I saw something this weekend that has me absolutely bent, twisted and distorted beyond measure. I was watching the news Saturday night and the story was about a group of folks in Seattle that were meeting to discuss race issues. All white people discussing their guilt for being white. One fellow was quoted as saying that the group helps him to be proud of being white but not arrogant. WHAT!?! How shallow are these losers that somehow derive their personal worth from the color of their skin? I have never felt pride or shame based on the color of my own skin. Neither have I ever thought that the color of anyone else’s skin was some kind of determining factor of their worth as a human.

Feeling proud, arrogant or guilty because of something as esoteric as your skin color is quite simply retarded. You may as well feel pride because of your height or the length of your wiener. You don’t get to control these things. Height can be useful if you want to be a pro athlete, but not if you want to fly fighter jets. But you don’t feel ashamed because you are 5 foot 6 or 6 foot 5? Do you? If so, seek counseling.

If you want to feel better about yourself, join a church. You can volunteer your time at any number of charitable organizations throughout the world. Hell, if you really have a guilt complex, go sign up for the Peace Corps.

What kind of twiddle brained nimrod needs to join a support group because the color of his skin is white (pink really)? You people disgust me.

Tough Week

Man, this has been one of the worst weeks I have had in a while. As I replay my week of pain, I feel compelled to remind you, I am not making this up.

Monday (The week begins)
I rode my little go to work bus to my typical little go to work stop in downtown Seattle. However, as I walked past the very first half block with 6 blocks to go, some crazy indigent fellow looks at me and starts screaming. He’s yelling things like, “Go to work bitch!” and other vaguely threatening stuff. He was bigger than me and he looked crazy, so I just looked at the top of my shoes and kept walking. Then this vagrant follows me for the next 5 blocks or so, just walking but continuing to yell at me. Passers-by on the street kept looking past me over my shoulder with concerned looks. I did not look back. I finally got to my building, looked back and he was gone.

You’d think this would be enough for one day.

About 5pm that evening, I get on my little go home bus. The problem: it’s broke. The shocks are shot. This bus bounced me like a cat in the dryer for the next 20 miles. My kidneys are still sore today (Friday). I was sure I was going to be pissing blood all week, but fortunately things did not break that badly for me.

Tuesday (It’s gotta get better, right?)
I live in a very residential subdivision. Only residences, no drop-in centers, no commercial real estate of any kind, really. As I leave for work, I notice a car parked in front of my house. A strange car, it’s older, a little beat up. I am annoyed, but I’m always annoyed at 6am. I don’t think about it too much. My wife calls me about an hour later and tells me that there are PEOPLE sleeping in the car. More trouble with the homeless I don’t need. I was going to call Snohomish county’s finest, but the car disappeared before I could call and has not reappeared.

Tuesday night I realize I have nothing to wear to work Wednesday. It’s an emergency trip to dry cleaners for shirts and emergency laundry for me.

Wednesday (The day after)
I’m tired. I stayed up late to watch the season opener of The Shield last night. It’s raining. I decide that riding the bus from the park and ride is a better bet as I don’t want to walk 2 miles in the rain in my newly cleaned clothes. So I also decide I will ride the “free” bus. My new company provides a bus pass. Unfortunately, the busses the pass is good for are not convenient for me. Today is the exception. Truth be told, the ride in is great, a little crowded but not bad. The bad part is that I spent an hour and a half coming home. All in all, a much better day than Monday, a best day of the week candidate!

Thursday (see yesterday’s post)
Major Screw Up.

Friday (today)
So far today is an okay day. I spent the morning chasing a problem in my code, that was resolved when someone else looked over my shoulder and pointed out my typo. I’m not sure but I may be retarded.

I may just quit. C’mon weekend!

Major Screw-Up

That’s me today. I think I have been overwhelmed by St Paddy’s Day excitement. I wanted to be sure that I wore some green today, but apparently green pants, green shirt and green tie of differing shades are actually a bit of a train wreck. I didn’t notice (of course) until after I had been at work for a couple hours.

Fortunately, I noticed my poor color combination early, so I am able to be mildly uncomfortable all day. Unfortunately, later in my day, after having attended 2 meetings, I noticed my fly was down. It has probably been down all day. Oh well.

And today is also the first day of the NCAA basketball tourney. Exciting college hoops action all day long. I’m so smart that I set up my cell phone to give me constant updated scores. I’m so absent minded that my phone is in the basement of my home and I’m in downtown Seattle. Jackass!

Just another St Paddy’s Day and it’s only half over. Lucky me.

I got nothing to blog about

It’s true, I have dried up. I don’t see anything interesting on the web today. The weather in Seattle is mildly interesting. We have that good March wind blowing up the streets and alleys from the waterfront, but nothing crazy is happening. I suppose the drought counts as news, but there’s no point in time where a drought happens. You can pinpoint a flood or an eruption or a rape or a murder or violent storm or a … Well, you get the idea.

On the upside, I saw the first episode of the new season of The Shield last night. I think this could be a VERY good season. I like the way they are dealing with Shane’s inability to manage himself.

I’m looking forward to the weekend, although I’m only halfway through Wednesday. This could be a long week.

My wife’s brother

My wife’s oldest surviving brother is quite a case. I would like to point out that this is an adult male in these United States. Some of the things he has done in the past include, suing his own insurance company, proudly bragging about ‘pimping out’ his own girlfriend, selling his mother’s car (repeatedly) in a scam to ‘earn’ drug money, ‘stealing’ a wedding from a generous church, being shot 6 times fleeing the scene of a drug deal gone bad, and has steadfastly protested his innocence every single time he is arrested. I assure you, I am not making this up, nor am I even exaggerating the facts.

He is currently out of prison, living with his significant other (affectionately known as ‘Big Red’ to the rest of the family) and her grown children. He has a couple of different sets of kids with other women, some of which he sees on a regular basis, some not. He likes to call my wife and keep us updated on his adventures. He claims to be working (that’s good), yet somehow the paychecks just aren’t rolling in with any kind of regularity. Hmmm….

The punch line here is that he called late last week to tell us of his latest fiduciary extravaganza: purchasing and viewing bootlegged movies. He literally called my wife to brag about what a brilliant find he had made. My wife pointed out to him that this was truly illegal. He called it a victimless crime.

I have many more stories about this fellow and my wife’s family. But I’m saving up for a book.

Blog Subject

Well, I’m at the end of my second week of workin’ for the man. I can’t say I really like getting up and going to work. Being on a schedule can be a real drag. I wear my little go-to-work clothes. I walk to the little go-to-work bus stop. Then I ride the go-to-work bus. And then, I do the reverse to go home every night. I lose 12 hours a day to this madness and I will earn just enough money to pay my bills and put away few pennies a week. It just doesn’t seem fair.

Admittedly, it’s not really hard. I know what I’m doing and I appreciate the level of energy in the office, dedicated but not frantic. Still I much prefer the freedom of setting my own hours. I suppose it is kind of like prison. They tell you when to get up, when to go to bed, when to eat, by extension when to dump, and what to wear. How often you need to cut your hair, what you can and cannot say during the day. It is kind of like prison, except the only crime I committed was to enjoy being responsible for myself.

Oh well, only 20 more years or so.

The 5 dysfunctions of a team

A large part of what makes my new job so good is that there is a training requirement. I must have some number of hours dedicated to self improvement every year. Some comes from internal training, some from classes and seminars and some from reading. So, I read a book this week called “The 5 Dysfunctions of a Team: A Leadership Fable.” Reading this book has caused me to reflect on the organizations I have worked for in the past 2 or 3 years. I can’t/won’t comment on my current gig as I am still in the honeymoon phase of our relationship.

The book discusses the 5 dysfunctions of an organization through a fictionalized organization that a new CEO must fix. The teamwork model used in the book is a pyramid with 5 levels. The very base level is trust. Without trust between team members no team can succeed. A lack of trust manifests itself in several obvious and detrimental ways. Communication, commitment and quality of deliverables all suffer.

I have witnessed this kind of dysfunction first hand. My most recent prior job was with one of those small consulting companies that pride themselves on their ability to be nimble and respond to the market’s needs rapidly. In this case the market is Microsoft and I can’t imagine a more difficult mistress. Trust at this organization is non-existent. Employees are not allowed to disagree with management or most favored employees. No one is allowed to hurt the feelings of the other employees so there can be no real conflict and therefore nothing is accomplished in meetings. It seems ludicrous to me that a company that small can have so many fiefdoms and superstars. So without any new ideas, the company lives the Golden Hammer anti-pattern and continues to insist that the core software product simply be modified for any contract that the company manages to land. And since the meetings are so pointless, no feedback can come to the architects or the management to affect the kind of change that would make a smaller organization more nimble or in this case, even responsive. Good luck fellas.

I was with my previous organization for a long enough time to see teamwork ebb and flow. The last manager I had at that organization must have decided that his staff was getting along too well and therefore could not be divided against itself to create the F.U.D. (Fear, Uncertainty, and Doubt) necessary to move ahead. So this manager would actually try to elicit gossip from direct reports about their teammates. The probing questions were always worded in very negative ways as well, like, “Have you heard that your teammate, Joe, is a child molester?” What’s the positive, non fear-inducing response to that? No wonder we fell apart. How could you trust anyone? If knowing that voicing an unpopular idea is going to cost you status, how can you speak up?

Anyway, I have high hopes for my new gig.

I also learned something at Starbucks today: “Searching for more joy is not a frivolous pursuit.” – Goldie Hawn

Wow.

Weekends are Meaningless

Weekends are meaningless when you are unemployed. Nothing has broght this home more clearly than my first "weekend" in over 4 months. I re-joined the ranks of the meployed last MOnday (the 28th) and as such I was "allowed" a weekend these past 2 days. Wow. I have not appreciated a couple of days off in quite some time.

Some special treats I enjoyed:

1. Sleeping in. I only slept until 7:30 or so, but what a boon to not be immediately have to shower and then begin the arduous journey to the workplace.
2. Eating on my schedule. I was hungry at 9am on Sunday, so the wife and I headed out to get breakfast at a local establishment that I enjoy.
3. Exercising on my schedule. I don't wanna get up and run at 4am. It sucks.
4. Staying up late. Since I didn't have to drag my butt outta bed at 4am to begin my schedule, I was able to stay up past my bedtime on both Friday and Saturday!
5. Not being a slave to the man. I just am not enjoying it. Maybe things will seem better when I see a paycheck....

The days are just packed

Now that I am once again employed, I find that I am unable to organize my time to get done all the silly little things I used to do. I can't seem to keep this blog updated. I can't seem to keep my den clean. I can't find time to run. I have gained like 5 lbs in 2 weeks, yikes! My kitchen is a total disaster.

I have a method I use to gather data for my blog. I read a couple of websites, then I write about whatever strikes me. I have not been able to engage in this ritual since I started working. I just can't stand the concept of going on line after a day of reading documents on-line so that I can learn what I need to learn for my new fabulous job.

Since I don't want to work I also don't want to clean. I literally have been leaving empty beverage containers all over my den. I sit in my easy chair, watch Homer J while wolfing some amount of food that would keep an Ethiopian alive for 6 months, and then I retire. Thinking to myself, I'll get up early and run tomorrow. Yeah, right.

And as I head to the bedroom, I notice that there are chores to do in the kitchen. So what do I do? I snack while putting away the dishes. So what's the total? 1 day, 4 meals, zero exercise. Beginning to resent your job -- priceless! I really hate "the man".

Speaking of dubious accomplishments, check this out. The list of Java 1.5 'improvements'. Go Sun go.